Day 23, Linguistics, Walking, Talking, and Living

You need not read any further if you want only a brief summary of my day.  But for more details, by all means, keep going!

So, my morning class was "Theater,"  in which we discussed food a lot.  It sounded like my new teacher bought pastries for the class last week!  Too bad I missed that.  :(  Oh, well.  I ended up talking more than once about the Zuppa Toscana recipe my good friend Liz gave me.  I've only made it once, but I'd eaten it with Liz once before and it is a new favorite!  In my afternoon class, we learned about the phonemes /y/ and /u/ and /i/.  I can hear the difference between the first two, but there are times when I confuse the two.  From the correction I've received from teachers here, I think I overgeneralize the use of [y], which is ironic because [y] is actually harder and less natural for me than [u].  Maybe I should stop thinking so hard about what I'm saying and it will start to come more easily and correctly.

Even though I've changed classes, I still found myself watching the clock to get done with class.  I really need to find a way to enjoy my classes rather than just endure them.  Being here has made me doubt the verity of my linguistic side, but I think I might be coming back to myself and I might be onto a way for me to enjoy class.  For example, at one point the teacher talked about "C'est bon" versus "C'est bien," and she used the second with a verb, and I thought, "Of course!  Adverbs modify verbs, (therefore "bien" must go with a verb in this phrase) and adjectives modify nouns (so "bon" must go with nouns) when deciding when to use which of the two phrases in question.  In the same class some time later, I had some etymological thoughts and questions go through my head as I wrote new vocabulary down.  And again, in my phonetics workshop, I was able to talk about the difference between [s] and [z] not being phonemically contrastive in Spanish (not in those words...) and I was able to explain to the class that the circumflex symbol in French often replaces an {s} in older French.  Encore deux fois, I also was able to talk about historical Romance linguistics with a couple of guys I know from the YSA activities here.

Part of my little identity crisis sparked by being here is my realization that there are plenty of people here who speak multiple languages, so what's the big deal about me knowing Spanish, English, and a bit of French?  And my linguistic conversations this evening with those two YSA guys revealed the gaps in my knowledge, showing that I only really know so general principles and many specific examples.  As I walked down the Champs-Elysees and back into the heart of Paris from L'Arc de Triomphe, talking with one of the guys, Kenny, he made an observation on what I was saying.  Basically, I love the feeling of helping people and understanding them, and language is a key to entering their world, understanding them, and knowing how they work and how to work with them.  At the core of my passions is a desire to want to make a difference.  Really, even wants to know they have a purpose and are useful, and for me, language is a strong point and I like being recognized for what I do.  But recognition isn't what helps people, and it's not like recognition really lasts for very long.  It merely feeds pride.  And there will always be someone better.

Yep, my pride has convinced me that since I'm not the best linguist and that being a polyglot doesn't come automatically, perhaps I don't really belong in linguistics.  Shoot, I found out today that a Spanish phrase I've known and used that I thought was equivalent in French is grammatically correct but means something else semantically.  So do I really know anything?  I obviously am not fluent in French, my Spanish is filled with mistaken habits and sizable gaps, and my sense of English has become corrupted by learning other languages, so I shouldn't be an authority on languages at all, right?!

Although much of my self-crticisms have some truth in them, they are a corruption of the truth.  Okay, so I shouldn't hope to win a prize for "Best Spanish Speaker of the World," but I learn Spanish because it is a driving force for me, it energizes me, and it helps me help other people.  French is helping expand my linguistic base and it is widening my potential circle of influence.  And Spanish and French have both helped me understand grammar better, thus actually improving my French.

I am truly grateful for the linguistic moments sprinkled throughout my day, the chat I had with Kenny tonight, and the ever-optimistic and spiritual blog posts from another new friend of mine, Paul.  Even though Paris isn't the glorious wonderland I'd imagined it to be, the culture isn't quite as my US Latino-biased mindset has led me to believe and there is indeed good to be found here.  Happiness is indeed a choice and God has given me this opportunity to be here.  I need to be humble and forget about trying to be the best person and decide to be the best me.  I need to choose to be content and at peace here, or else I will only pine away my time here, causing me to lament later my wasted opportunity of being in France.  I know I am here for a reason and I know Romance linguistics is what I love.  I don't know what I'll actually end up doing with it, but that is in God's hands.  Tonight, I saw a friend's status purportedly quoting Gandalf: "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."  And that time, my dear friends, is a precious gift given to us and we are free to use it as we please, be it for good or evil.  Alma 34:34-37  Really, it's up to us.  Don't put life off for tomorrow, hoping everything will magically change on its own.  Personally, I want to live life fully rather than fill it with semi-empty yesterdays like I have done already.  What about you?

Some of my favorite moments from the walk tonight were seeing the moon and looking out over the Seine.  Those are simple things here that I treasure.  It was also quite a treat to see the Eiffel Tower sparkle finally!  Kenny took this picture for me when we reached the end of the Champs-Elysees.  Obviously, the picture doesn't do the moon justice!  Also, the 3000 year old Egyptian obelisk is just off to the left of the screen!  Yep, that's how I decided to spend some of my precious God-given time tonight.  What will you do with it?