A Dream Come True

♫ A dream is a wish your heart makes…♫

What do you do when you find out that one of your biggest dreams is about to finally come true?  One that you’ve yearned for for years, but the timing was never quite right, but now you find that the time has finally come?  In all honesty, I’m nervous.  I feel like Rapunzel from Tangled, just before she sees the floating lights, lights she’s watched from afar for her entire life.  At the point of living her dream, she worries that the floating lights won’t be everything she’d imagined and that she won’t have anything to live for afterward.  To this, Flynn points out that it’s merely an opportunity to pursue a new dream.

Today I found out that I have been accepted for a Foreign Language Area Studies (FLAS) scholarship funded by the government to study In Europe this summer!  The reason why I feel Rapunzel-esque is that I’ve heard about my parents’ and brothers’ travels for church missions and whatnot and I know many, many people who have traveled in their lives, but the likelihood of my dream coming to fruition seemed as distant as the lights Rapunzel watched from her tower in the woods.  Whenever I found out that someone else I knew was going abroad, I would get jealous (though I have realized that I shouldn’t focus so much on myself and what I’m missing when I should be happy for them in the opportunities they enjoy).What’s more, I’ve been studying Spanish for a stinking 7-ish years, so I have often also felt a certain slight resentment/jealousy for the missionaries who pick it up in 18 months or 2 years, only to remind myself that I would be so scared to be thrown into a new language and culture as they are.  Besides, Heavenly Father blesses them to learn quickly.

At any rate, I’d hoped that I would one day make it to Europe, perhaps even to live there with my family one day.  Then again, it seemed like one of those dreams that was so grand that it bordered on larger-than-life.  I mean, I have tried to go for years, but each time I prayed about going, I did not have funding and the timing wasn’t right.  In retrospect, though, I can see how each denial was a step on my path leading me to where I am now: During my second year at university, I investigated a study abroad program, an internship abroad, and foreign language housing in my city.  Much to my chagrin, I felt prompted to go to the foreign language housing.  Consequently, I was able to develop my language skills and it was there that I decided to begin learning French and applied to graduate school; I’m not sure I would’ve done either had I not lived in that language environment.  Every once in a while, opportunities would arise, but they never seemed to fit with my plans.  Finally, this past October I finally felt  like God was saying, “Go ahead and plan to go next summer,” so that’s what I told my friends I wanted to do, despite not knowing if it really would happen, much less how.  

Then, about a month ago, my friend and colleague asked what my plans were for the future.  I couldn’t give him much of an answer.  Aside from finishing this semester and eventually MA, I didn’t know what I’d be doing in the near future.  I took the matter to heart, prayed about it, and felt like I should talk to my professors about programs and funding.  To make this long story a bit shorter, my literature professor helped my get in contact with the FLAS people and they accepted my application even though the deadline was the week before.  Because Spanish is not one of the languages funded by the program, I chose to go with French for six weeks for the language program, which is only available to graduate students, and then visit Spain for my own benefit.  This way, I can, in time, do comparative studies between Old Spanish and Old French.

I still have a lot to figure out with regards to particulars, but I think my dream is within grasp at last.  What continually amazes me is the foresight of God in helping guide the direction of our lives.  He respects our agency and will never force our hand, but he lovingly provides mentors and guidance as we progress in this life.  I especially love knowing that he knows me and how much I’ve yearned for such a chance as this.  France and Spain, here I come!  À plus!